ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
this is an emotional support booty call
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