Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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