Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
