the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
