who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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