You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
