I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
