i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
not ubering you a puppy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
