I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
