Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
