Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
