I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
