The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just pee around me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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