Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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