honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
