in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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