If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize