I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
