The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
