Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
