I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
