Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
