ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
