My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
