singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
