Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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