There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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