we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
