Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
too bad you live with your parents still
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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