I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Come on in and take your pants off
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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