WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just had sex on a roof
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
