Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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