We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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