I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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