all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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