I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Randomize
