We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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