Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize