You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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