I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's official drugs can't kill me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize