Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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