You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
