There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
