I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
