I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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