I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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