I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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