it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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