It's like God shit irony all over that family
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
