Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
