I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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