How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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