The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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