I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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