I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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