Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize
