You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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