Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
